- I'm smart but I'm a smart ass
- I'm an atheist but love the supernatural
- I have a lot of knowledge but still know nothing
- I'm married to a woman but also gay
I am proud to be who I am & am no longer in hiding about my true self. After I "came out" I had a friend ask me how long I had been Bi-sexual (actually Pan-sexual) & I replied to her "All of my life".
I was always Bi, I just was. I always fantasized about men as well as women. Bering an adolescent with these feelings was very confusing, but not about my feelings in regard to sexuality. My confusion was in what I could & couldn't do with it. I was painfully shy & not at all confident. I was very introverted & did not want to be noticed by anyone. I didn't have my first actual relationship until I was 19 years old. That is also when I lost my virginity. But that was not my first love.
I grew up with a boy for a long time that I considered to be my "best" friend. I will not say his name, but he was someone I was very close to. This was the closest I have ever come to having a boyfriend. Looking back now I think he was feeling the same things that I was, but we were both too scared to act fully on our feelings. We were always together & when we weren't we would be on the phone. It was an intimate relationship only without the intimacy, if that makes any sense.
We would frequently spent the night at each others house, as boys will do, but we would sleep in the same bed & even masturbate next to each other. I do not think that was the typical things that boys did on a sleepover. I really was genuinely attracted to this person & wanted to have a "real" relationship with him. If there had not been such a negative feeling toward homosexuality at the time we might have been able to explore our feelings more. We might have been able to have been boyfriends, or maybe not, there is no way to know.
The point is that I wish the world I grew up in would have been a more tolerant place, or that I had the confidence to share my feelings. I hope that a young person today is not encumbered by the guilt of having feelings for another person, no matter what their sex is. I hope that people today will learn to love each other for who they are & not what they are.
I just wish that LOVE was more accepted by everyone.
Stuff that happened on my birthday.
Aug 6th.(Chris Sr.)
- Proof sheets of the US Constitution are delivered (1787)
- Bolivia gains independence from Spain (1825)
- First electric chair execution (1890)
- First naval battle of WW1 (1914)
- Henry Sullivan swims the English Channel (1923)
- Gertrude Ederle is the first woman to swim the English Channel (1926)
- Atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima (1945)
- Jamaica becomes independent (1962)
- The worlds oldest tree, Promethius, is cut down (1964)
- thompson Square police riot in NY (1988)
- UN orders embargos against Iraq (1990)
- World Wide web is born (1991)
- Korean flight 801 crashes (1997)
- Rick James dies (2004)
- Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809)
- Hoot Gibson (1892)
- Dutch Schultz (1902)
- Lucille Ball (1911)
- Robert Mitchum (1917)
- Andy Warhol (1928)
- Piers Anthony (1934)
- Vinnie Vincent (1962)
- Kevin Mitnick (1963)
- M Knight Shyamalan (1970)
- Jon Benet Ramsey (1990)